


The End of The Road is Here

by MistressVanya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Character Death, Slight Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressVanya/pseuds/MistressVanya
Summary: Akaashi remembered. No matter how many times he was reincarnated, he always remembered. In all of his lives, there was always one person who kept appearing in his life.Bokuto Koutarou. Akaashi’s soulmate, the only person Akaashi truly loved. Yet the only person Akaashi would never be able to hold. Loving Bokuto was both a curse and a blessing for Akaashi.Now, Akaashi is running out of time. Eventually, he'll have to make a decision.[Chapter 2 Update!]
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my first work in this fandom. Actually, not the first work I've written, but the first one I've published. And the first BokuAka, so please be gentle with me. I'm trying my best to portray Akaashi with so much love and longingness for Bokuto, while still keeping him in characters. I deeply apologize if either Akaashi or Osamu or Bokuto here will be a bit OOC. I hope I can improve my writing in the next several chapters. 
> 
> English is not my mother language so I deeply apologize for any spelling or grammatical error.
> 
> Best Regards,  
> Mistress Vanya

Akaashi remembered. He always remembered.

No matter how many times he was reincarnated, he always remembered each moment he passed through.

How he was born, how he went through his life, how he died. The destruction of Pompeii, the Black Death, the World War, and other great events across the many parallel universes existed.

He remembered all. Over and over again. It was kind of surprising how his brain managed to store all those memories, without short-circuiting. Well, he didn’t exactly remember all the details in his multiple lives, but still, it’s amazing.

Throughout all those lives, he met many people, some he met in the past before being reincarnated again in the future. Akaashi always had a knack for knowing who was reincarnated, from what year or universe, and whether he had met them once or not.

But in all of his lives, there was always one person who kept appearing in his life, over and over again.

Bokuto Koutarou.

Akaashi’s destined soulmate. The only person Akaashi truly loved.

Yet the only person Akaashi would never be able to hold in his arms.

Bokuto Koutarou was the sole reason Akaashi was reincarnated over and over again, all while retaining the memories of his previous lives. Akaashi fully understood how soulmates were destined to be together, and how each soul would be reincarnated multiple times until they’re together with their soulmates. Most souls were only reincarnated once or twice before they met their soulmates and lived the rest of their lives surrounded with love.

Not with Akaashi.

Instead of letting fate guided him to be with Bokuto, Akaashi purposely let Bokuto away, so he’d be reincarnated and be able to meet with Bokuto again in the next life.

Akaashi was always given the chance to be with Bokuto, to be able to embrace him and hold him close, but he never took it.

Because he knew, once he embraced Bokuto, he won’t be reincarnated anymore. Then he won’t be able to meet with Bokuto again. The thought of being unable to meet Bokuto again scared Akaashi so much, that he chose to never be with Bokuto, else he’ll lose Bokuto forever. Better for him to suffer through the pain of seeing his soulmate slipped through his fingers multiple times than to have Bokuto only for a fleeting time.

Aside from that, from his approximately twenty six (or was it twenty seven? Twenty eight?) previous lives, Akaashi noticed how he never lived past thirty years old. At one life, he was about to have his thirtieth birthday in a week, only to die the next day from drowning. It’s as if he was only fated to live less than thirty years in each life.

It just made Akaashi’s resolve to never be with Bokuto even stronger. If he couldn’t live long enough to grow old with Bokuto, then he might as well as live multiple short lives and loving Bokuto with all his heart.

While the prospect of never stop loving Bokuto seems so beautiful, so fulfilling, it destroyed him from inside out.

Loving Bokuto was both a curse and a blessing for Akaashi.

The stabbing pain in his chest every time he saw Bokuto with someone else but him was enough to render him immobile, yet the surge of happiness that spread through his entire body was the only thing keeping him standing upright. Probably the only thing that kept his resolve intact, as each pain kept breaking his defense.

At first, Akaashi could handle the pain. But as time passed, the pain grew stronger and stronger and Akaashi felt his resolve slowly weakened, overwhelmed by his desire and longing. The gaping wound in his heart grew bigger and kept bleeding. Akaashi just filled the wound with small pieces of happiness he could find from loving Bokuto, despite how futile the effort was, like trying to shove someone’s gut back inside and stick it back together with only band-aids. Akaashi would hide the unmistakable agony on his eyes in front of Bokuto, and hold his arms tight on his sides, else his desire will overtake his senses and made him do things he'd surely regret.

Still, Akaashi toughened his will. He thought he could deny his fate and lived through multiple lives with sheer will alone.

He’s completely wrong.

Akaashi had been trying to deny it, but he realized how every time he was reincarnated, his current body that time would be weaker and weaker than the previous ones. As if his soul was deteriorating, and the deterioration caused him to born weaker in the next life. Akaashi wasn’t that surprised, though. Every time he died knowing Bokuto would never be his, a piece of his soul would break and disappear into thin air, along with his willpower.

Sooner or later, there would be a time where he probably would be born so sickly and weak, he wouldn’t be able to leave his bed anymore.

Sooner or later, there would be a time where his soul is so broken, so decayed, he wouldn’t be able to reincarnate anymore. Because there’s nothing left of his soul to reincarnate.

And Akaashi never knew when that time would come. It could be now, it could be the next life, it could even be the next ten lives. By the time he realized, everything might be too late.

Sooner or later, he would run out of chances.

Sooner or later, Akaashi would have to make a heavy choice.

That time loomed over Akaashi, ticking like a clock.

_Tick tock, tick tock, Akaashi Keiji. Tick tock, tick tock._

He’s running out of time.

\---OooOooO---

“Why don’t you get checked up?” Osamu comments, munching on one of the meat buns Akaashi managed to sneak up to the hospital. “Since you’re already here.”

Akaashi lets out a soft sigh and takes the magazine he found at Osamu’s bed, wondering who left a playboy magazine in Osamu’s room. Probably Osamu’s annoying twin brother Atsumu (Osamu's words, not his), to make Osamu pissed off.

“I’m here because you complained the hospital’s foods are disgusting.”

Osamu shrugs, snatching another meat bun. “I just broke my arm, not sick. Even the food at home is better than this.” If Akaashi didn’t know Osamu for quite a while, he probably wouldn’t be able to detect the slightest whining in Osamu’s tone.

“Osamu, your bone was sticking out of your skin," Akaashi replies patiently, tidying up the room slightly.

“I know,” a few seconds later, “Hey, now, don’t change the topic, Akaashi. You should get checked up while you’re here. I’m good right now, and Atsumu’s gonna visit me soon.”

“I’m fine, Osamu. Just a little tired.”

“Bullshit, Akaashi. Don’t try to hide things from me. We are roommates for four years now, I know when you’re ‘just tired’, or if there’s somethin' wrong with you.”

“Osamu,” His tone is firm, signaling he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. “I’m fine.”

“Suit yourself.” Is Osamu’s reply, though Akaashi can almost hear Osamu frowning with disapproval.

Akaashi tries to hide the fact that he does feel a little bit under the weather by picking up Osamu’s dirty laundry to bring them back to their shared apartment. But for him, this tired and weakness he currently feels is not that surprising. In this life, Akaashi was born with a weak and sickly body. His body is quite weak, that throughout his school year, he often skipped P.E classes because he didn’t have the energy to do it. Akaashi avoids most of the works that require physical labors, as his body simply can't handle it. 

Osamu wasn’t wrong when he said Akaashi looked sick. Akaashi hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately, and with how weak his body is, it started to take a toll on his general health. His lack of sleep wasn’t just because of his works. Sure, as an editor (why did he pick this job again?) he had to pull lots of all-nighters nearing the deadlines, but that's not the only reason.

After his 22nd birthday two months ago, Akaashi started feeling restless. He’s already 22, yet he hasn't met his soulmate yet. Akaashi _knows_ Bokuto was also reincarnated, he _knows_ Bokuto is already here, somewhere on this earth. But Akaashi hasn't even once caught a glimpse of him. He’d know if he got even the slightest glance of Bokuto because his heart would clench so tightly if he did.

Akaashi knows he won’t be able to live for more than thirty years old, he’s sure of that. And here he is, with only about eight years to spare, maybe less, and no Bokuto in his sight. That thought most often than not, keeping him awake at night, even with his exhausted body and his heavy eyes. He can't remember when was the last time he got a good night's sleep. Most of the time, he fell asleep out of exhaustion alone.

_Tick tock._

He’s running out of time. Even if he still had eight years of life, there's no guarantee he’d still be alive until 29. He could die anytime.

_Tick tock._

His body in this life is already so weak, there are times Akaashi would feel too exhausted to wake up.

_Tick tock._

What if this was his last chance to be with Bokuto?

_Tick tock._

What if he won’t be reincarnated anymore?

 _Tick tock_.

What if everything was too late?

 _Tick tock_.

Every cell in Akaashi’s body longs for Bokuto, although he knows he probably won’t be able to appease his longingness. Akaashi loves Bokuto, before he met him, just like how he was in his past lives. No matter how many times Akaashi was reincarnated, he’d still love Bokuto.

“—shi,”

Thus, his greatest fear would be not being able to love Bokuto anymore. A single fear from that nurtured his decision to always let Bokuto go to be able to always love him.

“—aashi.”

_What if he couldn’t love Bokuto anymore?_

“Akaashi!”

Akaashi puts down the laundry he’s been holding for a few minutes as his thoughts running rampant in his mind. Quickly composing himself, he resumes his task of cleaning Osamu's hospital room, as if he didn't just run through the worst-case scenario in his head.

“Yes, Osamu?” He thinks he’s doing a very good job of keeping his anxiety and panic in check.

This time, Osamu doesn’t bother masking his very obvious worry. “You sure you’re alright? You’ve been freezin’ there for like, five minutes.”

Honestly, Akaashi doesn’t know if he could fool Osamu anymore. He suddenly feels light-headed, probably from thinking too much. If he kept this up, he'd burst in the spot.

“I…” He coughs. “I think I’m going to get some tea from the cafeteria.”

With that, he leaves the room quickly, without as much as a glance to the confused Osamu. He makes his way to the cafeteria, and orders a warm cup of sweet tea and _onigiri_. Perhaps some sugar in his bloodstream would help in alleviating his anxiety and clearing his mind.

As he sips on the warm tea, a very familiar voice takes his attention. A voice Akaashi has been longing for his entire lives, in all his lives. A voice Akaashi has been waiting for. 

“Hey! May I sit here with you?”

That voice never changes.

“Sure, go ahead.”

Akaashi is very amazed at his own ability to keep calm, despite how his heart is beating so fast right now. He applauds himself for his composure, as all he wants right now is to launch himself to that embrace and stays there until he died.

“Thanks!” Akaashi’s beloved soulmate, Bokuto Koutarou, sits down on the chair across Akaashi, holding a tray full of foods. “Man, this cafeteria is so full! I’m glad I still get a place to sit.”

“Well, it's lunchtime.” Akaashi lets a smile slip to his face, though discreet.

When he opens his eyes, he finds Bokuto staring at him with his golden eyes. Not only his voice, his eyes never change too. Those are still the same eyes Akaashi loves. Akaashi wants to lean over the table and kisses the space between those eyes, to convey all of his love. He wants to stay close enough to admire all the flaws and beauty in Bokuto’s skin.

“What is it? You’re staring at my face.”

A wide grin breaks on Bokuto’s face, and for a moment Akaashi thought he went blind from its sheer dazzles.

“Oh, nothing! I just thought you’re really pretty!”

So honest, so pure, so sincere. Akaashi loves him so much. So much until his chest hurts.

If only Bokuto knew how much Akaashi loves him.

“I don’t think that’s a proper thing to say to a stranger, Mr. Simple Minded.” Akaashi hopes Bokuto doesn’t pick up the longingness in his tone.

Bokuto laughs, loud and clear and so beautiful to Akaashi’s ears.

“Then I think we should get to know each other? That way I can call you pretty, right?” He offers Akaashi his hand. “Bokuto Koutarou.”

_I know. I know you before you even know me._

“Akaashi Keiji.” He takes the offered hand and grabs it tightly.

_I love you._

“Nice to meet you, Akaashi!” Even the way Bokuto pronounced his name is still the same after all those lives.

“It’s a pleasure for me too, Bokuto-san.”

 _Took you long enough_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! I kind of working on the later chapters first, so I could get rid of the multiple tabs first, heheh. Anyway, the second and third, probably the fourth chapter are more like the calm before the storm. 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Finally meeting Bokuto turned to be a great mood booster for Akaashi, even if he only realized it after Osamu mentioned how 'sparkly' he was after returning from the cafeteria. Akaashi didn’t do anything to rebuff Osamu’s claim, only throwing a pair of clean underwear straight on to Osamu’s face, telling him to go change his underwear so Akaashi could bring home the one Osamu currently wearing.

(He managed to catch the dirty underwear Osamu threw at him later before it hit him on his nose.)

Osamu was not wrong, though. Akaashi felt like a huge load of weight just got lifted off his shoulders upon seeing Bokuto’s face. His chest felt lighter, and his body less tense. After he went home later that evening, Akaashi found it easy to just curl up on his bed, imagining Bokuto’s face, Bokuto’s smile, Bokuto’s voice, and he fell asleep almost instantly. He woke up the next day, almost noon, feeling very refreshed and in a very good mood.

Although said good mood doesn’t last very long. Akaashi receives a voice message from Osamu (he can’t exactly type with only one arm), asking (more like begging) Akaashi to come to the hospital because his twin brother, Atsumu, was wreaking havoc in his room. Oh, and he's super hungry and needed some food else his bone won't move back inside his skin. He wanted some meat, and he would love Akaashi forever if Akaashi brought him food.

Akaashi’s left eye twitches and he lets out an exasperated sigh. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Osamu. Osamu is his best friend and his roommate, and despite his deadpan personality, Akaashi knows Osamu loves him too. Akaashi doesn’t hate Osamu’s twin brother, Atsumu, well… most of the times. Atsumu tends to try and annoy Osamu, which Osamu usually returns with equally bad teasing. And if Akaashi was there, he’d be Atsumu’s next target too. Thank God Akaashi is a very patient person.

…though sometimes Akaashi wants to give each Osamu and Atsumu a good throttling.

_[I’ll be on my way. Please tell Atsumu not to destroy the hospital room.]_

Oh, well, there goes his day off. Osamu is really lucky Akaashi loves him, else he would let the latter suffer by forcing him to eat hospital food. Osamu probably would rather starve than eat the hospital food. During his stay in the hospital the one ended up eating Osamu's food is Akaashi, as he’s not as picky as Osamu.

As Akaashi changes from a pajama to a comfortable turtleneck, his mind wanders to a certain someone he met yesterday. He and Bokuto ended up talking throughout lunchtime, about their business in the hospital (Bokuto said he’s accompanying his friend visiting his brother but he got hungry and left his friend alone), about their jobs (Bokuto is both a high school volleyball coach and occasionally plays in the same club as the friend he’s accompanying, Akaashi is not that surprised), and just talked about random topics that would pop up as they ate their lunches. Akaashi asked Bokuto lots of things, some he already knew beforehand (he’s been pining for Bokuto for _years_ ), except Bokuto’s number.

Remembering it made Akaashi felt kind of stupid. Somehow he managed to forget asking about Bokuto’s number, and Bokuto didn’t mention anything about exchanging numbers. Until they both finished their meals, no talk about numbers whatsoever. Bokuto checked his phone, told Akaashi his friend was already waiting for him, thanking Akaashi for the amazing company, and just like that, poof! He’s gone.

He only remembered he hasn’t got Bokuto’s number about ten minutes later, after the initial excitement disappeared. 

However, his instincts and experiences told him that once he met Bokuto, he'll meet him again not long after that, in any circumstances. Even when it's kind of impossible to be able to meet again in such a short time. That's how soulmates work, he thinks. So, while he's busy reprimanding himself for his stupidity and forgetfulness, he still can exhale a soft, relieved sigh.

Upon opening the front door, Akaashi is greeted with a sudden gust of cold wind, despite already February. Shivering, Akaashi pulls the coat tighter around himself, wishing he’s warm enough to not get a cold. His immune system has been pretty weak thanks to his lack of sleep. If he got sick, who will take care of his dear friend, Miya Osamu? With his open fracture, it’s going to take a while before he fully recovered.

Akaashi quickens his pace to the restaurant selling Osamu’s favorite beef rice bowl place. His eyes widen seeing the long queue, and he sighs again for the nth time in that hour alone.

Oh, this is going to be a long, long day…

\---OooOooO---

Akaashi is going to take his words back.

Well yes, at first he’s grumbling and muttering under his breath, feeling his patience slowly leaving him. The queue was long, the person right in front of him took too long to decide what her orders were, the man before her got his card rejected multiple times, and the person before the man-with-rejected-card kept adding new orders. Akaashi’s legs were tired, and it was cold, and he was hungry. He should've eaten something first before going out, but if he did eat, who will eat Osamu's neglected hospital food?

Then after a grueling half an hour of waiting and getting his orders done, as he made his way to the hospital, a boy dropped his strawberry ice cream on Akaashi’s very white, very clean sneakers. He still managed a forced smile on his face as he cleaned his sneakers while the boy’s mother apologized profusely at him. After that, he almost got run over by a car whose driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend. And the last one, that left his patience hanging by a teeny tiny string, was several random children playing around with a water hose, and they accidentally sprayed the very cold water to Akaashi.

For a moment, Akaashi thought meeting Bokuto was draining his luck, which should explain why he got bad things that happened to him today. 

Thus, with his patience running thin, either Atsumu or Osamu would be _extremely lucky_ if Akaashi didn’t immediately throttle them both as soon as he walked through the door.

But, it seems like Lady Luck feels pities him because while Akaashi’s mind preparing an hour-long lecture for the twins as he walks inside Osamu's room, he's greeted with the very person who had been occupying his mind since last night. 

“Oh, it’s you!” Bokuto beams, almost making Akaashi blind with how bright it is.

Yep, Akaashi is ready to take everything back and thanking all the Gods in this world for his bad luck today. 

Akaashi lets a small smile makes its way to his slightly pale face (from the cold), completely uncaring on how his hair and half of his clothes are soaked, or on how his previously white sneakers are now shaded with pink. Basically, for some reason, Akaashi doesn’t pay any attention to how bad he looks right now, and just _smiles_. That should prove the bubbling happiness in Akaashi’s chest.

“Hi.” He greets Bokuto back, putting Osamu’s rice bowl on the table bedside table. “We meet again, Bokuto-san.”

Atsumu—whose body was straddling Osamu’s thighs, ready to fed Osamu a suspicious white goo—blinks several times in slight confusion upon seeing Akaashi and Bokuto’s interaction.

“Wait, Bokkun ya know ‘Kaashi?” Osamu uses this chance to kick Atsumu’s ass off him, making the blond falls to the floor. Akaashi wonders how the hospital didn’t ban Atsumu already.

Suddenly, Akaashi’s vision is filled with Bokuto, so does his sense of smell, and feels Bokuto’s warm hands on his wet shoulders. Bokuto is so close to him, and Akaashi finds it a bit harder to breathe normally. Every time he inhales, the smell of Bokuto’s cologne is assaulting him, driving him mad.

"Yeah! We met yesterday in the cafeteria!" He frowns. "I thought I told you yesterday, Tsum-Tsum!"

A short silence, then an "OH!" sound of realization. "Akaashi was the ‘Mr. Extremely-Super-Pretty’ yesterday? Man, Bokkun, you shoulda told me that guy was Akaashi!”

Oh, so Atsumu was the friend Bokuto mentioned at him yesterday. Come to think of it, the timing between Atsumu’s visit, Bokuto leaving him, and then him returning to the hospital room were kind of close. Only about ten to fifteen minutes of the gap. Akaashi wonders why he didn’t realize it before. And yesterday was not the first time Atsumu had brought the same friend with him, according to Osamu, but they never mentioned this friend’s name.

(Akaashi wants to drown himself. Turns out, he and Bokuto were closer than he thought.)

Bokuto pouts, unconsciously pulling Akaashi closer to him in a protective way. “I forgot! Besides, Tsum-Tsum you often snatch what I like! Like that rare meat Kuroo brought me!”

“Bokkun, that was what? Two months ago? Come on!”

“You still snatched my meat!”

Uh-oh, no one is paying any attention to the overheating Akaashi. First, he was assaulted by Bokuto’s sight, smell, touch, and warmth, and now those sensations are multiplied because of the space between them. Then, the way Bokuto pulled him and the implications of his sentences… Akaashi’s brain is in overdrive. He might be drenched from cold water, but his entire body is heating up. This process is very apparent on his face, red blooms on his pale cheeks. He’s just so shocked he couldn’t find himself to move or utter a single word.

Thankfully, Osamu saves him just before he faints like 19th-century women.

“Bokuto, you’re making Akaashi uncomfortable.” Though Akaashi doesn’t miss the hint of amusement in Osamu’s tone and facial expression. Living together with the same person for four years does that to you.

Osamu’s words seem to stop both Bokuto and Atsumu from their arguing, with Bokuto focusing his attention back to the flushed man in front of him.

“Oh, sorry!” Bokuto pulls away, leaving Akaashi slightly mourning the lack of warmth. He’s cold again now.

“It’s fine.” Akaashi tries his best to look unbothered (really, he’s already missing Bokuto so close to him, sigh…) by smiling awkwardly, but he’s cut off by a loud, violent sneeze. It is then when Bokuto seems to realize Akaashi’s drenched, now damp, state.

“Akaashi, you’re soaked! What happened to you? Wait here!”

Akaashi doesn't get the chance to reply or to rant about all the bad things that happened to him today, because Bokuto already makes his way to Osamu's bathroom to retrieve a clean towel. He returns as quickly as he fled, putting the dry towel over Akaashi’s head and starts drying his hair. Akaashi overheats again, slightly relieved the towel provided a cover for his burning face.

He doesn't have to peek from under the towel to know there is a similar, amused look on the twin's face as they watch the usually calm and composed Akaashi is now reduced to a mere puddle by Bokuto’s action. Even Osamu has the nerve to look delighted, Akaashi half-promised his fried brain to maybe pull his other bones out so he won’t be able to eat. He’s usually not this violent, really.

Bokuto continues drying Akaashi’s hair until he’s satisfied, and lets the damp towel slung around Akaashi’s neck. He looks so happy, Akaashi wants to kiss him badly.

“There! All done.” 

“T-thank you,” He manages a hoarse croak, words he wants to stay stuck between his brain and his mouth.

“Bokuto,” Osamu breaks the awkward silence between Bokuto and Akaashi. “Akaashi’s coat and turtleneck are still damp. He’s gonna get sick that way.” Then he glances at his twin, conveying a silent message.

“Yeah, Bokkun. Why don’t ya lend ‘Kaashi your sweater? It's too hot for a sweater, dont’cha think?”

Oh, these two fuck—fudgers!

(Akaashi sees the fist bump they make when Bokuto happily takes his sweater off and hands it to Akaashi. He swears, they’re going to get it. But after he’s done feeling so giddy from wearing Bokuto’s sweater. The big, warm, and oh-it-smells-so-good sweater.)

\---OooOooO---

At the twin’s urging, Akaashi now finds himself back in the cafeteria to get some lunch, with Bokuto on his side, wearing Bokuto’s sweater. Atsumu could join them, of course, but he opted to stay with his beloved twin (his words, not Akaashi’s). He even promised not to make any ruckus while Akaashi was out. Akaashi knows Atsumu and Osamu wanted to give Akaashi some alone time with Bokuto. Great, now Akaashi doesn’t know whether to strangle them or showers them both with love and gifts. Maybe a little bit of both. Akaashi could strangle them with the gifts he bought. That would be satisfying.

“You really like _onigiri_ , huh…” Bokuto mumbles when he sees Akaashi’s plate is filled with _onigiri_. “You had _onigiri_ too yesterday. Is it your favorite food?”

Bokuto’s plate, in contrast, is filled with meat dishes only, and Akaashi hides his fond smile with the cup of hot tea he brought. There is this urge inside Akaashi to scold Bokuto for not eating vegetables, just like how he had done in the past twenty-ish lives. Bokuto doesn't—never changes, at all. Different names, different eras, different years, different circumstances, yet Bokuto still stays the same.

“Ah, I like _onigiri_ , but it’s not my favorite food. Osamu feeds me lots of _onigiri_ , so I just kind of get attached to it.” Akaashi unwraps his first (out of three) _onigiri_ and starts munching on it. “Though these are nothing compared to Osamu’s _onigiri_.”

“I know, right!” Bokuto slams his hands on the table excitedly, almost making Akaashi jump. "Myaa-sam’s _onigiri_ is the best!”

Akaashi snickers at the nickname Bokuto gave for Osamu. “I used to get bored whenever Osamu fed me too much _onigiri_ , but after he fractured his arm, I wish I could eat his _onigiri_ again.” Then he adds, “Sometimes we don’t know how much something meant for us until it was taken away from us.”

That part is spoken so softly, almost inaudible, and thick with melancholy. He’s glad Bokuto is too busy eating to listen to what he said. He doesn’t want Bokuto to think about him negatively, although he fully understands that Bokuto is not that kind of person.

They talk and talk as they eat, from one random topic to another one. At some point, they were discussing about owls, about cats, then debating whether zebras are white with black stripes or black with white stripes. Akaashi is not a talkative person, sometimes he’d run out of topics to talk to, ending the interaction with awkward silence. On the other hand, Bokuto easily, without too much effort, leads Akaashi through multiple conversation topics.

Talking with Bokuto is calming Akaashi’s nerves down. Thus, when two hours pass, Akaashi barely feels it. In those two hours, gone all the anxiety and all fear in Akaashi’s mind. Akaashi no longer thinks about complex things about the future and such. There are just Bokuto and him in their own bubble, enjoying their time together. Akaashi’s chest feels light, and he’s at the most content he ever felt for the past several months. He even lets himself loose and laughs whenever Bokuto says something stupid, something he probably won’t do to a stranger he only met for a day.

But Akaashi doesn’t only know Bokuto for a day. He’s already known Bokuto for multiple lives, several hundred years combined. Bokuto is not a stranger to him, he’s never a stranger. He’s a person Akaashi holds dear to his heart for a very, very long time.

Eventually, they have to return to Osamu's room. Akaashi has to catch up on some work, and Bokuto has an appointment after this. Before that, Bokuto has to pick Atsumu first. Akaashi accompanies Bokuto back, half-afraid when he arrived, the room is wrecked and either Osamu or Atsumu or even both are dead.

The sight that greets them baffles even Bokuto. Atsumu’s upper body is on the bed, face nuzzling on Osamu’s left side, fully asleep. He doesn’t seem comfortable at all, yet he’s deep asleep. Osamu is in his usual position, only now his free left hand is placed on Atsumu’s blond hair. It seems like Atsumu fell asleep first, followed by Osamu. It warms Akaashi’s heart. Atsumu and Osamu might bicker and argue, but in the end, they’re still brother who loves each other.

Beside him, Bokuto takes his phone out and quickly snaps a picture of the sleeping twin.

“Kuroo is going to love this.”

Speaking of phone… Akaashi glances down at the floor, fiddling with his fingers. He should ask for Bokuto’s number right now, when Bokuto has his phone out. But, oh, Akaashi is so nervous. Is it too soon to ask for Bokuto’s number? They only met yesterday, after all. Akaashi doesn’t want to look too forward or too eager. He’s too deep in his mind that he doesn’t realize Bokuto stealing a look at him.

“Hey, Akaashi, can I have your number?”

Sometimes Akaashi envies how easy it is for Bokuto to say things like that. He doesn't answer immediately, still too dumbfounded, and caught off guard. Seeing Akaashi’s pause, Bokuto’s body language changes slightly. He appears more embarrassed, more awkward, and it makes Akaashi feels a bit better. Turns out, he’s not the only one. Bokuto is the same as him too. He’s just braver than Akaashi right now.

“Of course, Bokuto-san.”

\---OooOooO---

Akaashi can’t stop staring at Bokuto’s name and number on his phone as he makes his way back to the apartment. Bokuto had sent him the photo of Atsumu and Osamu he took earlier, and they exchanged several quick conversations before Bokuto excused himself to wake Atsumu up. They still haven’t planned anything yet, but Akaashi feels a bit optimistic this time.

He only realizes he’s still wearing Bokuto’s sweater when he fails to pocket his phone in his coat. His cheeks redden again, and Akaashi pulls the collar of the sweater upwards so he could bury his nose in there. A sharp throb on his chest serves as a reminder on how much he longs for Bokuto, on his deep, immense love for Bokuto. Yet, the feeling of contentment is quickly replaced by a painful, crunching ache.

Fear.

Fear of the future.

Fear of losing Bokuto.

Fear of not being able to love Bokuto anymore.

Fear creeps from his mind to his heart, squeezing his chest painfully until he finds it difficult to breathe. Akaashi feels lightheaded all of sudden, and he staggers to the nearest bench. Invisible shackles weigh his legs, making them weak, followed by trembling that shakes his body like a leaf.

Hidden behind the fabric, Akaashi smiles, tears brimming on his eyes.

“I love you, Bokuto-san.”

A soft whimpers escape his lips. Akaashi hugs himself as tight as he could, enveloping himself in Bokuto’s smell, Bokuto’s warmth. As if Bokuto was there, hugging him, comforting him, whispering sweet nothings to his ears until Akaashi believed that he is safe, until Akaashi is no longer scared. 

Alas, it is merely a fantasy. There is only him there, sitting on the bench.

Alone.

“I love you so much, Bokuto-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! I'll try to upload the next one as soon as I can. ♡( ◡‿◡ )

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this work! Please let me know what you think in the comment. If you like this work, please leave me lots of love and kudos! I'll try my best to upload the next chapter as soon as possible.
> 
> Stay safe and healthy! <3


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